Closure.
May 5th, 2010
Four years ago today, STNNNG wrapped up mixing our second record, Fake Fake, and the five of us were sitting atop Phantom Manor in Chicago, drinking beers and chatting with our good friend & mastermind behind the mixing board, Mike Lust. Our previous album, Dignified Sissy (also recorded by Lust), came out just a year earlier, and we were all surprised by the positive reviews it was receiving in the press locally, nationally, and even in parts of Europe.
I have a lot of fond memories of that time. The year prior, we had become a five-piece, started getting out of town more frequently, and our shows still carried an uncertain element of danger that all great rock bands seem to have. Often, we were as surprised as to what developed onstage as those in attendance, and that made the whole event even more enjoyable for us.
In the fall of 2005, we were awarded the “Picked to Click” award by the Minneapolis City Pages, an honor that in previous years had not typically been bestowed upon the city’s louder, grittier bands. Later that winter, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune proclaimed us as the #1 live band, with Dignified Sissy placing sixth in best local albums.
Though I would deny it at the time, I think these awards and recognition precipitated a certain kind of expectation. After awhile, these expectations brought about internal conflicts and struggles that many of us were willing to put up with simply because the benefits of being in a notable band far outshone them. It was easy to joke about the Picked to Click “curse”, but I do think that perceptions both internally and externally changed because of the weight that recognition seemed to carry.
At the time Fake Fake was released, the future felt limitless. The band was confident, and to me, it felt like we were a tight-knit unit, willing to take on anyone who wanted to challenge the idea of what our shows were supposed to be. If nobody showed up, we didn’t care, and played that much harder because we had that much more to prove. As time passed, that unity ebbed and flowed, but rarely was shared by all members equally.
In the three years that followed, we managed to write enough new songs to try and put together a third record, but the dedication and focus to finish that album no longer existed. Attentions were diverted to other projects, with each member of the group forming or joining other bands to satisfy the need to keep playing. Some members (myself included) threatened to quit, but everyone kept it together for the sake of finishing the latest record.
By August 2009, I chose to leave. At the time, 8 of the 10 songs on the new album had 60% of the basic tracks, but it had sat on the shelf, largely untouched for several months. With no end to the recording process in sight, I determined that I could no longer hold out for that time to come.
STNNNG’s third full-length album, now titled The Smoke of My Will, is slated for release in summer or fall of 2010 on Modern Radio. Much of the material has been re-recorded with their new drummer, Ben Ivascu. Because of my own inability to deal with difficult situations such as these, I have lost many friends, and have been exiled from the label’s messageboard community without explanation.
I have been working very hard these past 9 months to move on and provide myself with some semblance of closure. It’s important for me to remember that, although my life is different now, I had a once-in-a-lifetime experience to do something grand with people that I once regarded as friends.
I’m doing what I can to remember the good times, and in honor of that, I wish to share with anyone who reads this several live recordings of shows over the past few years that contain versions of songs that may appear on the forthcoming record. I’m extremely proud of what this band has achieved, and I hope that my own effort shined through each time someone heard us. I miss it more than anything, but there’s no going back, only forward.
Enjoy.
(link) STNNNG on Radio K’s “Off the Record”, November 30, 2007 (includes: Slow Water; Ladies & Gentlemen, We’ve Been Infected; New Black Hole; Some Raw Girls; In The Hate Field)
(zip file) STNNNG live at the Turf Club, January 19, 2008 (includes: A Tremblin’ Blues; Ladies & Gentlemen, We’ve Been Infected; New Black Hole; Some Raw Girls; Black Dog 2; Slow Water; In the Hate Field; Two Sick Friends)
(link) STNNNG live at the Turf Club, July 22, 2009 (includes: The Ugly Show; Slow Water; Some Raw Girls; Two Sick Friends)
As a former Madison resident who saw STNNNG play numerous times (and was fortunate enough to play a show with you once), I was shocked to look up your former band one day and discover that you had left the group. From an outsider’s perspective, I could not fathom why. That being said, thanks for posting this — it’s a great read, and it sheds a light on how seemingly unstoppable bands are, at the end of the day, human. STNNNG was a consistently electrifying, intimidating (in both good ways and bad ways), and extremely talented group of musicians. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to your next project.
Thank you, Jesse. When you mentioned Madison, I was fairly certain that you had played in Houndrunner, so I Googled it to confirm and was pleased to discover that I was right. That show at The Corral Room with the Blind Shake was really fun. Chris and I spent about an hour making the “Black Flag” banner a short while before that show, and we were disappointed when we’d forgotten it at the end of the night. I like to think that it’s hanging in the bedroom of some truly hardcore fan.
I’m really proud of what the five of us were able to achieve over the years, and I only hope that I’m able to assemble another group of guys as talented as they are.
[...] would have been released in 2008 while I was still involved with the band, but I’ve already previously written about that. Bygones, [...]