I’m Stuart Smalley, and I Approve This Message.
August 3rd, 2010
Sometimes, you wake up in the morning and start thinking about all of the crummy parts of life that you can’t control. For me, this morning, the following parties were responsible:
- People who were once my friend, but are no longer due to something I did
- People who were once my friend, but are no longer due to unexplained circumstances
- People who are supposedly my friend, but never, ever call
- People who are supposedly my friend, but don’t respond to invitations to hang out
- My dad, who I haven’t spoken with since 1998
It’s far too easy to get caught up thinking about these things. From time to time, I consider talking to a therapist about these topics, but something about pride or self-determination often get in the way, and a desire to “figure it out” or some other sort of American Gusto that once existed inside people for things that have nothing to do with mental health.
It turns out, however, that the thing that typically works for me is to stop thinking about them. When I remember this, I like to think about the good (and often great) things that are going on. I make plans. I focus my efforts. And I try and reach out to people who are receptive and actively engaged in friendship with me.
Here is what made today great (aside from having reasons to make unordered lists):
- I had an exceptionally engaging and productive day at work
- I went to IKEA and bought a desk, chair and table lamp for my rehearsal studio
- I saw Dinner for Schmucks with Abby and our friend Josh, and it was great!
- I made plans to practice with my band on Thursday and Sunday
- I got to hear great-sounding music from members of another potential new band
- I made plans to hang out with my friend Adrianne, who just moved back to town from Boston
And that was all just today! This weekend, I went tubing with Abby and my new friends Ryan and Jamie (and they brought great people with them), I got a call from my grandma (which I need to return before week’s end), I went to happy hour with friends at my new favorite bar, I went bowling (and bowled well!), I got to see excellent tables at Red Hot Art in Stevens Square, and I had delicious meals each day.
I want this message to serve as a reminder to myself that life’s too short to get bogged down in the garbage that I can’t control. The people that matter the most to me are those who care for me as well, and the only thing that will get in the way of achieving great things is getting bogged down in the garbage I can’t control.
I have a great girlfriend. I have a great job. I have talents, some of which are likely completely untapped, and I’m getting opportunities to use them again. And, while I might not know the value of some of my friendships, there are many people in my life who show that I matter.
This is what counts. Hooray for today.
well said and good on ya. you seem to have forgotten to mention me as your source of inspiration, but in light of positive resolutions, I’m willing to overlook it. hats off, good sir.
A dear friend of mine sees a counselor — just someone who coaches her through life. Therapy isn’t all about big revelations on a couch. It’s healthy for your brain! Do it! Maybe your insurance covers it.